Spiff's Road Trip Continued...
As We Drive On, Into The Storm
We continue our journey with Spiff and his publicity manager, Dimitri.
When we left off, Spiff and Dimitri where driving on into the fierce snow storm that has been ravishing the corridor from Texas to Illinois.
This particular duo is following that exact corridor...
Lets read on as these two dive fearlessly into the icey depths of central Arkansas, in the middle of a snow storm to end all storms...the type that Central Arkansas is NOT well prepared for..
0440mi. We pull off for some munchies and stretch our muscles.
Spiff inspects the snow on the front of the car...
0453mi. The roads are EXTREMELY icey and slick!
Spiff is sure glad that I'm driving because I have previous experience driving in this crap from when I lived in Illinois for the first few years of college.
Our average speed of 35mph lasts for about 30 minutes,
until the traffic comes to a complete stop!
Spiff checks the map to find out where the heck we are.
We're 30 miles outside of Little Rock, Arkansas.
The time is 8:00pm.
8:15pm, 0453mi. Spiff gets out to assess the situation.
Yup. No one's moving for as far as the eye can see in all directions.
So, Spiff occupies his time by scraping the ice off of the headlight.
you go, Spiff. It's friggin' COLD!
8:45pm, 0453mi. Spiff is starting to wonder what the heck's going on.
He wanders off to go talk to a trucker...
He talks to a black guy named Ed. Ed and his cab-mate are heading to Memphis.
Ed tells us that a couple trucks have jacknifed about 11 miles up the road and traffic is stopped the whole way.
"I think they got a tow truck comin'...Wait, actually, they ain't said nothing 'bout no tow truck yet.... sheeeyit..."
Ed also proceeds to point out a over-used stereotype:
Ed: "Besides, what you drivin' fo' anyway. You green boys don't drive, green boys are supposed to fly!"
Spiff: "Sheeyit, I ain't got no money! I'm a college student!"
Ed: "naw, boy. Yo momma's supposed to send you money. Send you money for a plane ticket to come home for da holidays!"
Spiff: "Dude, my mom's a teacher. She ain't got no money!"
Ed: "She ain't buy you no brand new Expedition or something?"
Spiff: "Hell no, I got my own little piece 'o sh**."
Ed: "Man, yo momma's just s'posed to send you dough to come home to sweet momma soze we can givei you lots of presents and more money."
Spiff: "Sh**. That ain't quite how it works. Besides, I like to drive."
Ed: "Well sheeyit, you shot yourself in the foot with that one: 'okay hunny, we'll just send you some gas money.'"
Spiff eventually left the two telling them to honk at us to wake us up when we start moving
We knew we were going to be stuck there for awhile,
so sleep seemed like the most reasonable thing to do with our time.
But Spiff had to get in some sliding on the ice, first.
That's my action shot. ;)
10:37pm, 0453mi. A passing cop (travelling on the shoulder) stops by to chat to some folks behind us.
Spiff is asleep, so I ask how the wreck's coming.
He says it's finally cleared out, but they're trying to get all the trucks moving again. Sitting for nearly three hours with the dropping temperatures and once-wet tires has effectively frozen damn near all the trucks to the roadway. HA!
12:35am, 0453mi. We wake up to a tow truck driving by on the shoulder honking at everyone to wake up. We start moving!!
1:00am, 0457mi. We make it four miles and turn off at the first truck stop.
We burned almost a quarter of a gallon of gas idling all night keeping us from freezing.
Of course, the truck stop is packed to the brim with hundreds of sleeping, dimly-lit trucks
We decide to spend the night. Roads will be better to tackle in the morning when the sun's actually out.
7:31am, 0457mi. Morning did come...
I decide to let Spiff sleep in.
cute little thing... so peaceful when he sleeps.
((shivers)) nevermind
Dang, that's a lot of trucks!
And I tell you, Spiff worked up an appetite!
8:50am, 0464mi. DAMMIT! We're stuck again!
Does it ever stop? Are we ever going to actually get to LIttle Rock?
Are we EVER going to actually get out of ARKANSAS!!??
Spiff and I are used to the drill by now...
SO we get out and play on the ice some more.
We meet two little kids, JAke and Ryan.
Their dad, Dennis, is in the truck right in front of us.
That little family is on their way to St. Louis, Missouri.
Not only does Dennis offer a smile and high spirits with his traffic report,
He lets Spiff sit atop his dash board!
(Spiff's never been in a truck before!)
Dennis is also kind enough to help Spiff get a little action...
...lucky dino-rat. Get's all the women!
2:15pm, 0541mi. Searcy, AR. Spiff exercises his ice-scraping muscles again.
This time on the Side of my car...
4:55pm, 0643mi. The sunset on our backs...we're finally moving as we hit spots of dry road...
5:24pm, 0678mi. THANK YOU LORD!
WE ARE OUT OF ARKANSAS!
...and they said it couldn't be done.
midnight, December 24th. 1009mi. Urbana, Illinois.
My dad was almost as glad to see Spiff and I as we were to see him
Spiff has made it to Illinois!
Much love and peace and serenity is had by all...
Dad and Margaret, rejoicing and relaxing.
Now that the drive is OVER, What's in store for the interpid explorer?
Let's find out with Spiff's Christmas with the Hammonds!
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Copyright © 2005 By Dimitri Hammond
